Saffron Filk - Tales of a Traveling Minx by Heather Ackroyd
“Tales of a Travelling Minx”
(to the tune of “Twiddles” by Janie Meneely)
Lyrics by: C. David Dent
Sung by: Heather Ackroyd and C. David Dent
(Listen to it here)
When you’re young and when you’re pretty and you’re out here on the rim,
There are those who’ll tell you straight up that your future’s kinda grim.
But if you know a thing or two about what makes men tick
You can do a fairly decent job of making cash right quick.
CHORUS:
And it’s marry ’em, dump ’em, move along and find another man.
You’ve got to get to robbin’ just as many as you can.
And it’s marry ’em, dump ’em, move along and find another man.
You’ll never get ahead out here just sittin’ on your can.
I found man with lots of cash from deep within the core,
He had his own collection of old things from Earth Before.
But when I saw he loved his toys more than his darling wife,
I grabbed his stuff and ran away and started a new life.
CHORUS
The trick to finding suckers is to let them think they’re slick.
You give them drinks and butter ’em up before you play the trick.
And when you bolt to sell their ship, before they fix the mess;
you tell them it ain’t personal it’s only bus-i-ness.
CHORUS
There are some men who are really thick and do not have a clue,
They never seem to catch on to exactly what you do.
They want the wife to come with them back to their happy nest,
Never realizing that you’re losing money if you rest.
CHORUS
Men are interchangeable until you make them change,
It keeps it int’resting if you expand upon their range.
From beards and clothing, dance and games, perhaps some sex appeal,
You can turn it all into another chance for you to steal.
CHORUS
Saffron or Yolanda, Mrs. Reynolds or Bridgit,
I’ve taken every husband for as much as I could get.
And though its true, in what I do, I’ve made out pretty well,
If I’m ever caught I may wind up in ‘special hell’.
CHORUS
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From the creators:
“Well, Chris, it’s almost at the deadline and we’ve got another filk entry in. And yes, I’m afraid you have to listen to me singing again…
“My husband wrote the lyrics for this one, based on a song that we thought was in the public domain but turned out to have been penned by a local composer. Knowing that hardly anyone outside the local Renn Fair scene would have ever heard the tune we e-mailed her for permission to use it and she graciously gave us the green light. Despite the somewhat amateur delivery, at least it means that those checking it out will know how it’s supposed to sound. Once again we have no backing music, but I convinced Dave to sing some of the harmonies for the choruses.”
