“I want to marry Saffron!
I want to be her man.
One of those she’s hitched
and then left ditched.
We are a mighty clan!
I want to marry Saffron!
I want her for my bride.
Even though my tale
will end in jail
You know it’s worth the ride!
You know it’s worth the ride.”

OK, you could do better. And you really, really should.

It’s dawned on me that although fans have written beautiful, funny, emotional songs about Mal, and the crew, and the ship, and the ‘verse, we’ve never heard any original songs about my favorite character, Saffron. As far as I can tell, there are exactly two: Saffron’s wedding song from the soundtrack (later covered by The Bedlam Bards on their “On the Drift” CD) and “Saffron,” a filk to the tune of Gordon Lightfoot’s “Sundown” by the immortal Lux Lucre.

That’s it? I can’t understand this. YoSaffBridge is definitely someone who would inspire songs. Cautionary ones, at least. We’ve seen stories, poems, even limericks, but where are the ballads about this beautiful, deceitful redhead?

Well, they’re here. During June, anyway. I’m announcing “Sing a Song of Saffron,” a month-long contest for great prizes, to be judged by me, The Bedlam Bards, and Saffron herself, Christina Hendricks! Check below for details.

Read the rest of this entry »

And the answer to last week’s question, According to Mal, what should a woman do if someone tries to kill her? was “try to kill them right back!” Steve McCord knew this, and he shall be rewarded with one of Black Market Beagle’s ”I Am Dua Kahlil” shirts. Remember, you can buy your own and $5 of the price goes to Equality Now, or you can just download the image and make your own — here.

No trivia contest for this week, folks. Not because I’m avoiding contests, but because I’ve got a BIG one coming up for the month of June and you’ll need your rest. Check back for more details tomorrow night!

Sure, the other swords were cool, but this one you could actually whack somebody with. It’s the stunt version of River’s Reaver battle sword, hard rubber with a metal rod in the middle for support.

The blade has deep grooves made in it to appear as though battle scarred. It comes framed in a fantastic suede effect laser cut mount board with the movie logo and three movie stills. The display measures approx. 85 cm x 54cm (33.5″ x 21.25″).

Available now at The Prop Store of London.

Once again Lisa Spodak is raising money for the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer by auctioning off signed teddy bears, and three Firefly alums are helping out. You can bid on bears signed by Ron Glass, Alan Tudyk, and Jonathan Woodward (also Jason (”Areesrted Development” Bateman, Tom ”Love Monkey” Cavanagh, Ryan “Veronica Mars” Hansen, Wilson “My So-Called Life” Cruz, and William “WonderFalls” Sadler.

Click here to see all of her auctions, or head to lisawalks.com for more info.

A reminder - Universal HD will be running “Firefly” in high-def in July. From their forums:

No folks, not new episodes. but the closest thing to it.

On July 14, We will run the series again.
Starting with Episode 101.

So mark your calendar, tell all your friends who haven’t seen it. Plan your Firefly watching parties, because it will air every Saturday Night.

– Universal HD

Way back when, the official Serenity site used to hold contests to win prizes, or points to trade for prizes. One of them was to write a short account of the first Reaver sighting. This was my entry…

Tragedy at Evensong

[A flashing news logo swoops over scenes of cheerful celebrities, violent criminal smackdowns, spaceship races, and marching crowds. CUT TO: a dangerously over-makeupped woman sitting behind the desk, which is apparently floating in front of a huge, colorful snack treat.]

MINDY: Good evening. I’m Mindy Chin and this is the Socko Evening News, brought to you by Blue Sun’s Fruity Oaty Bars. Fruity Oaty Bars, they’re socko! Tonight our own Ed Flansom reports on a massacre going on as we speak at the border planet Evensong. Ed?

[CUT TO: ED, who is huddled underneath a burning hot dog stand. There is smoke everywhere, blood is running down his face, and screams can be heard in the distance.]

ED: Mindy? Oh God, Mindy? Is that you?

MINDY (OS): Ed, you’re on live. What’s going on there? Aren’t you covering Evensong’s Unification Festival?

Read the rest of this entry »

Diamond Select has announced the second in their series of Serenity statues, “Inara Strikes.”

7″ tall and to scale with the Serenity action figures, this sculpt is by Michael Norman and can be removed from the base. Limited to 1000 pieces. NEW: You can preorder it at TFAW.com for 20% off. Ship date is (so far) October 31, 2007.

Amazon has posted the list of their most consistent sellers, year in and year out. Guess what made #2? (The Star Wars trilogy was #1)

These DVDs are our perennial top-sellers, consistently selling the most, month after month, over the last several years. They’re all keepers, of course–but some, like Firefly: The Complete Series and Love Actually, have been quiet hits, selling copy after copy since the day they were released without ever having made industry headlines–those are our “sleepers.”

With a single t-shirt you can ruin movie experiences for everyone around you! What a time-saver!

“Wash dies”! Spoil the ending for Serenity and 18 other movies with this great shirt from Theater Hopper. And if that’s not enough, screw up 14 more with the first version.

Following Joss’ post on a videotaped honor killing, Adam from Black Market Beagles has created a design to raise money for the cause.

First, if you haven’t yet, go read Joss Whedon’s moving post on Whedonesque.com.

Go. I’ll wait.

Stirring stuff, no? So, about an hour ago, I got an e-mail from a long-time BlackMarketBeagle customer (Dale Koontz) with a fantastic suggestion to create a t-shirt that says “I am Dua Khalil.” As Dale said, “I don’t want this event to fade from public memory with a simple ‘tsk, tsk’ as we move on to the sports page.” I wholeheartedly agree. I think it’s a great way of standing up and being counted among those who refuse to accept this situation as an acceptable status quo. Dua can not speak for herself, so we who can, must. I may be a man, but I, too, am Dua Khalil.

I’ve marked up the shirts $5 above cost, and I plan to donate all of the proceeds to Equality Now. If that makes them too expensive, e-mail me and I’ll sell one to you at cost or at whatever markup you feel comfortable with.